Merry Christmas

Worst PJ of the season: Bappi Lahiri on Radio Mirchi:

Yeh Merry Christmas hai to teri Christmas bhi to hai!

(For those who do not speak Hindi, translation impossible - thank God)

Anyway dear readers, the time approaches when ol' St. Nicholas squeezes himself down chimneys and radiator wires to bring gifts for little children. Poor man, it's lucky that he has so much to do while preparing for the season that he manages to slim down enough to be able to sqeeze down increasingly narrowing chimneys.
Mathematicians have calculated that Rudolf the red-nose successfully approaches the speed of light while ensuring delivery to milions of kids, taking advantage of time dilation and a rotating earth to get Santa's work done.

Poor Yesu, who it has now been revealed, was never the only child of a virgin but a younger sibling of a whole brood. No wonder he managed to feed the multitude with three loaves and some fish.
Being the runt of the litter must have given him enough training in eking out nourishment out of the scraps left over by the older siblings.

The poor kid, tested by birth by a triad of Zoroastrian priests, must have had a tough time getting looked at by shepherds in a cold December. I guess that toughened him enough to be able to take a bath under the guidance of St. John the Baptist - which couldn't have been a common thing at that time...

In the meantime I hear that this year the elves had struck work for a day demanding higher DA. Eventually it was settled by a 0.25% increase in the contributory retirement benefit, along with a promise not to outsource their work to Taiwan.

Meantime, please heed the warning by the WHO - chronic foot and mouth disease can be spread by Santa coming in contact with dirty stockings. A spokesperson for the organisation has advised parents to ensure that Santa gets to touch only freshly disinfected stockings. And Santa has been requested to keep his Form 37H (Exemption from Quarantine of Imported Animals) ready for easy transit of Rudolf.

Enough updates - there's a fat man trying to squeeze down the chimney - he's stuck and groaning about what seems to be the last piece of chocolate cake for which there was no space in the refrigerator. Poor man, I'd better give him a hand...